THE UGLY SIDE OF SHOPPING….

I love shopping. If it was my full time job I would have reached the top of my profession and my CV would be flawless Sadly there is a downside and I’m sure I’m not the only one who is aware of the ugly side to such a joyous activity. Who decided it was ok not to have a mirror inside the fitting room?  

Let’s start at the beginning shall we? Shop assistants, I have a name and it’s not babe, hun, love, darling or gorgeous. I really love taking the clothes I have carefully selected around your store so I can mix and match. There is no need to approach me 45,000 times and ask if I want them taken to the fitting room.

There is no need to pounce on me when I am halfway out of the fitting room and shower me with insincere compliments. I am not a supermodel; so to  drool over everything I try on and tell me it looks hot, or you’d kill to have my figure because everything looks amazing on me is not the way to close the deal.

If I have a friend with me there is no need to say to her ‘oh my gawd how hot does she look?’ I’m also not receptive to any other tactics you have to closing the deal whilst you hold me hostage outside the fitting room. These tactics include – ‘I love your watch’ and ‘Where did you get that lip gloss from?’ My friend is there to shield me from your insincerity and we really just want you to go away so we can converse about the clothes.

I need my privacy. I need to be far away from you to get the clarity I need to fall in love with the nearly purchased item. You chirping away insistently in my ear is ruining the start of a beautiful relationship between me and my new love. You’re like the third wheel here – don’t you get it?

It’s scary how efficient I am at spending money but mirrors outside fitting rooms are about as much of a turn on as K-Rudd in his underpants. They set off a chain of events that ruin my shopping feng shui and need to be abolished immediately - if not sooner.

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